The Man Who Had Legs

Crab-crawling with a frown, jumping, jacking up and down,

With the man who had legs,

Standing by The Falls, leaning on graffitied walls,

With the man who had legs,

Walking my dog, crouching in a bog,

With the man who had legs,

Sprinting ’til collapse, lungs tired, prolapsed,

With that man, he had legs;

 

Kneeling to pray, molotov-cocktailing the fray,

With the man who had legs,

Obsessive and astray, playing How To Save A Life by The Fray,

With the man who had legs,

Dougieing as performance art, stealing my Dr.’s only eye chart,

With the man who had legs,

Smuggling illicit contraband, heckling the local calypso band,

With that man, he had legs;

 

White-picket painting and the mending of fences,

With the man who had legs,

Olympic-qualifying and pawn-shop fencing,

With the man who had legs,

Coming to, shielding blows, picking up, wielding hoes,

For the man who had legs,

John Deereing a doe, writing moribund prose,

For the man who had legs;

 

It’s all fun and games, until someone loses a leg,

Because that man, he had legs,

Causing a wound, then licking up the dreg,

That’s how he is, the man who had legs,

Doing things I despise, and then making me beg,

That’s him, the man who had legs,

Selling gratification, lusting, listing with Craig,

That’s who he is, the man who had legs;

 

It’s gone to hell, torn apart,

Because of the man who had legs,

Clueless, desperate and back to the start,

With the man who had legs,

Sent like death from heaven above,

By a man who had legs,

I can’t quit him, he fits like a glove,

He’s mine, the man who had legs.